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A blond tells her friend that she is having a hard time selling her car because it has over 200,000 mile on it
Her friend gives her the address of a man who will turn the odometer back to 40,000 miles for just a few dollars.
Hard up to sell the car, the blond finds the man and has the odometer turned back.
A few days later the blonds friend asked if she has sold the car.
The blond replies...Hell No !...I've decided to keep it...it only has 40,000 miles on it !
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Three tourists were traveling in South America: an Irishman, a Frenchman and a blond American. They all found themselves in a bar in a small Latin American country which was ruled by a strict dictator. As luck would have it, they got into an argument and a bar fight soon started. The local military police arrived and arrested them.
At their trial before a tribunal, they learned their luck was even worse than they had thought. The bar was owned by the brother of the dictator. The three of them were promptly sentenced to five years in solitary confinement.
Before they were taken away to prison, the judge said, "You are foreigners to our country. I will grant you each one favor. You may choose one item to help you pass the time in our prison. What do you wish for?"
The Irishman asked for a five years supply of fine Irish whiskey. The Frenchman asked for a five year supply of fine French wine. The blond American requests a five year supply of cigarettes. The judge grants all three requests. The three were led off to prison and thrown into individual cells down in the dark, damp basement of the prison.
Five years later they were let out one by one. First the Irishman was released. He staggered out, drunk, barely able to stand, and quickly stumbled out of the prison without saying a word. The Frenchman was released next. He swaggered out, rather drunk himself, and walked out into freedom. The blond American was released last. He stepped out into freedom and said, "Does anyone have a match?"
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